Once upon a time, in a faraway and distant land, I wrote a blog all about the changing face of Jimmy Page. I come to you today to talk about a startling development I became aware of last Monday: Ralph Macchio's face. Some of you are, perhaps, unaware of who Ralph Macchio even is. For that you should be ashamed, but who am I to judge, eh? Macchio was the shining star from the amazing 80's movie franchise known as "The Karate Kid." He somewhat faded from public view in the years following the movies' success, but he has recently resurfaced on the soul-sucking show "Dancing with the Stars." When I sat myself down to watch the season premiere yesterweek, I nearly pissed myself when it came time for Macchio's dance. By no means was my near-soiling caused by amazing dance skills or horrendous missteps, instead I was amazed at how little his face has changed in the past 30 years!!! What I am about to show you may not make sense, but I assure you- it is real. Age 15-ish Age 50, that's right, 50!!! Now, when I make the claim that his face has hardly changed in 30 years, it is not simply with the intent to give him a kudos. No, indeed, I have serious concerns that Ralph either sold his soul to the devil or is an alien. Equally viable, these are the only possible explanations I can possibly come to. I must admit, I am deeply disturbed. Almost more disturbed than I was with Jimmy Page's transformation into an elderly Chinese man. Almost. (Click here to read said blog and laugh/weep your little hearts out.) Gah! I just can't stop staring at the side-by-side comparison! Did he have more wrinkles in the before pic? What the hell is going on?!